Do You Ever Wake Up and Feel You Should Be Happy?Thoughts on Stargazer Lilies, Melancholy, Supertramp's "Goodbye Stranger"
Hi Friend, So here’s something I’ve wondering—do you ever wake up and feel you should be happy, but melancholy feels like a heavy blanket someone keeps putting on your shoulders? That’s how I’ve been feeling lately, besides all the beauty around me—I’m thinking springtime birds, cherry blossoms in bloom, sunshine, so much we decided to skip going into the Two Sylvias Press office this week and instead are working from home. But to look at one’s life and feel SO grateful and thankful for all you have, but then also kind of sad. I’ve carried this feeling a lot throughout my life (it’s come and gone and returned) and I know with the state of our country, things are feeling a bit harder everywhere. So there’s that. . .unfortunately. (Also, promoting a book at that time feels beyond ridiculous.) I’ve found planting stargazer lilies feels hopeful. I’m learning how much of my hope is tied to plants, maybe because they are a quiet insistence that something is growing despite our human world. Maybe it’s the agreement a seed makes with the future—possibility, it whispers. Last week I met with two good friends and one said she believes things will get better, but first they have to break open before they can be repaired. And I’m like, Great, love that for us—but is there an express lane to the healing part? I’m so impatient these days and just like with movies, I want to fast forward past the bad/scary parts. But time, right? We have to day-by-day it with our fingers crossed and hope in our back pocket. How are you getting by these days? I hope you’re finding ways to get through things. I just read forest walks are good for anxiety, but I’m guessing if you’ve ever walked in a forest (without being lost), you know that already. 😉 So yes, I’m finding scattered joy all around me—burgers & bingo with neighbors, a brunch in an old Victorian building, walking through downtown Seattle to my favorite bookstore, Open Books. But it’s like my emotions are birds—look at all that happiness fluttering around me, but nothing seems to land. Still, I keep leaving the windows open for hope—one of these days I have to trust that something will stay long enough to build a nest. Hope is the thing with feathers…as dear Emily Dickinson wrote.
Good Things:
Oh, and this happened in February with the moon, Jupiter, and Venus, so maybe the universe IS smiling back at us:
Thanks for reading, helping strangers, moonwatching, and just being you. Sending love in stupid times, P.S. Thank you for all who preordered from Open Books! It was so much fun signing your books! 💙
📍Where to find me: Facebook, Instagram, Listening to Goodbye Stranger This post is public—feel free to share it with a friend, another poet, or any devoted reader. 💕 Thanks for reading Postcards from a Poet, a joyfully unpredictable newsletter with surprisingly good timing and that will always be free.
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